Pricless Information about Environment, Family And Relationships And More

I went to a lovely party the other day. It was a baby shower. I was quite worried about the baby shower gifts as I was hoping that I wouldn’t be getting something that anyone else was going to buy. It is quite a tricky thing to do really but in the end I opted for a knife, fork and spoon set. I went for something useful as it can be tricky when you just get lots of toys and teddies and nothing that you can use.

The party was lovely with really great decorations and flowers. They had lovely food and even had some baby shower favors on the table. I didn’t know that you could get ones for this sort of party and they were really cute and such a good idea. It was lovely to have something nice to take home and have a few sweeties! I thought this type of thing was just for weddings or bridal shower favors but having them for all sorts of other parties is such a great idea and I think that I will do it for some of my parties and it is lovely.

independent? Why do people that have already adopted one child want to adopt more?

Alot of this not wanting to adopt an older child is also based on how the system portrays adopting an older child.

My brother was a dopted at 14 to a single black guy. My brother was an angry 14 year old adolesent white male. They almost discouraged my brothers father in the adoption process. I understand that there were obstacles to overcome but they had already lived together for almost a year. They knew eachother and loved eachother. They knew what they were getting into and also knew the truth. My brother was partrayed as overly violent and aggressive. He was described as being basically an idiot with tons of learning disabilities. The truth is my brother was angry and rightfully so. He had been seperated from everything he knew. But he needed someone to help and support him rather than ostracize him. He also had add. He did fine in school but again needed encouragement. He loves his father unconditionally and he talks to him ever single day even though he lives in another country and only sees him when hes on leave.

I was also adopted at 14 and was portrayed as a very troubled older child. I have ODD, is what is said in my records. Opositional Defiant Disorder! For christ sake i was 14 and a teenager! What 14 yo do you know that isnt oppositional. Mostly they said this because I had my own opinions and voiced them. I didnt want to visit with my mother who had passed up ridiculous amounts of chances to right her wrongs so i was oppositional. I had breasts by the age od 12 so i was overly sexual and practically a slut, as described in my reports. I would just like to say i never had my first kiss until i was 17! Is that overly sexual?
My adoptive sister was told she would never be able to graduate high school, nor would she be able to make it to age 18 without sexually assaulting our little brother. Sh graduated from one of the best high schools in Maryland. She went to college and was responsible enough to know that she couldnt do it so she chose a cosmotology school, she and my little brother have an amazing relationship.
If thats just 3 examples that hit so close to home for me imagine all the other children in the system.

Now i dont deny that older children will be more difficult but that is typically the case in any household. Will older children also have baggage. Of course. But maybe people should try to get to know the children themselves…

—

Older kids and teens usually come with a lot of emotional baggage from either being orphaned or being removed from unfit parents and a lot of people don’t want to deal with that. Some adoptive parents still want to try and pass an adoptive child off as their own, and a older child or teen will obviously have memories of their first parents and families. Some adoptive parents are young themselves and are not at an age where the feel comfortable parenting older children, and want to start with younger kids.

And why do people adopt more than one child? The same reason people give birth to more children, because they want a bigger family!

……..

The reason people do not adopt older children is because “bonding” is more difficult. Children go through the bonding process before the age of 5. If they have bonded correctly with a parent, they tend to develop with less emotional problems. Older children who are/were in the foster care system probably had the bonding period disrupted by abuse and negelect from their bio-parents and then abandonment by removal into foster care. As a result, many children have emotional problems that are indicative of poor bonding. As children grow, the poor bonding creates problems in developing and maintaining relationships, TRUST issues, self-hate, rage, etc.

Parents who adopt older children need to be aware that these issues will be present to some degree. Because TRUST is such a difficult problem, the older children may not get along with the adoptive parents for awhile. The child is testing the relationship.

Some people simply do not want to deal with these issues. By adopting a baby or toddler, you can develop that bond and chances are the emotional problems will be less.

Also, one person (DCK2003) said that people should only adopt one child who has been abused because they might abuse others. WRONG!
While the majority of older children have been severely abused, the majority DO NOT abuse. Her statement is a SEVERE mis-representation of abused children!!!
And parents who are trained properly can deal with the issues that arise and do not need to only adopt one child. In fact, it can be helpful to have another child in the home who also experienced abuse, because the two children can feel like someone understands.

It is very sad. By the time you are 8, you are considered too old to be adopted. Very sad.

When did you get the 2nd pku done for your newborn how many days after birth?

If I remember correctly, it should be within the first two weeks after being discharged from the hospital.

———

They don’t have a PKU shot, they have blood taken in the first 24 hours for the PKU test. PKU is an inherited disorder for which children are tested early so they can be put on a special diet.

Right now I have the light foot pajama. But she falls when she tried to walk in them, I cant seem to find the kind that doesn’t have them, where can you find them at?

i have bought some sleep and plays at wal-mart that don’t have feet in them. there are some by gerber and then some of the wal-mart brand available, that I have found.

my little boy had the same issue with the feet when working on walking! now he runs around in a onesie!!!

——

when my kids were little, once they outgrew the jammies, I cut the feet out of them . It allowed them to wear them longer, and kept their feet from getting too hot.

You might be able to buy textured tape and try that but it might not stick well. It’s just another thought.

When you are pregnant with your first child and throughout their childhood you will likely want to buy them the best of the best. Of course, this attitude will change significantly when you have your second, third, and more children, but for your first it is quite normal and even expected. You will want to buy the Britax car seats, simply because they are more expensive and supposedly the best. Sure, they are good car seats, but there are many other brands that are also excellent. The same goes for Robeez. These little leather slipper shoes are adorable. They cost about $20 per pair, but you will think they are so cute that your baby will need a pair to match every outfit. This will quickly become too expensive, but you will still probably overspend.

Then, as your little one becomes a toddler you will want to buy a Kettler Tricycle. This is just the way it goes when you become a mom. You will always want the best for your little one and it will take time for you to realize that the best is not always the most expensive and many times all that is really needed is your love and affection.

If you’re only nursing every 3 hours, that is probably the problem. The average baby needs to nurse at least 10-12 times in 24 hours–and that’s *before* you want to increase your milk supply. If you’re not nursing that often, it is very likely that you will never have enough milk.

So the first thing to do is to nurse more often. If it’s been 2 hours since the *beginning* of the previous feeding, pick up the baby and nurse, even if you have to wake her/him. Try offering a *little* less formula (about 1/2 to 1 ounce less per feeding) and nursing more often like this for the next 3-4 days. If baby is still having the same number of wet and dirty diapers as previously, offer a little less again (and continue to nurse every 2 hours). Keep going this way, and you will probably be able to eliminate the formula entirely at some point (but there is no way to know just when that will happen).

At the same time, call a local La Leche League Leader. She will be able to give you ongoing help and support. All this help is *free* (although offer to make a donation to the organization if you can). See sources section below to find a Leader near you. Keep in mind that LLL Leaders are all volunteers working from their own homes while raising their own kids, so if you don’t get through, try another Leader or call back later.

You do *not* need to “drink a lot of water”. It won’t help, and one study showed that forcing liquids actually *decreased* milk production. Drink if you are thirsty.

Do *not* use “mother’s milk tea” or any other herbal blend that is intended to increase your milk supply. If you need help from a medication, you can use fenugreek or a prescription medication (see below). Herbal blends are all based on fenugreek anyway, but the extra herbs can cause various problems (side effects and/or allergies). In addition, most of them contain fennel–an herb that can increase the milk supply for some mothers, but actually decreases it for others. It is risky and could cause more problems.

Do not pump if you can nurse. No pump is as effective as a nursing baby. Before you pick up the pump, nurse; the only reason to pump is if baby refuses to nurse, in which case it’s better than nothing. But if you do pump, use the most effective pump you can. The best is a hospital-grade rental pump (preferably one that pumps both breasts simultaneously), then a battery-powered pump (even if used on wall current); manual pumps are the least effective type of all. Never use a pump made by Gerber, First Years, or Evenflo, or any pump that has a rubber bulb to operate it. They could do damage to the breast that may make end your breastfeeding career–at least for this baby.

If you want to try a “galactagogue” (something that increases milk production), the only herb with any scientific evidence of its effectiveness is fenugreek. Take 1 capsule 3 times a day for 3-4 days, then increase to 2 capsules 3 times a day for a few more days. Keep increasing this way until you are taking an effective dose *for you* (typically 2-4 capsules per dose); you will know that you are taking enough when your sweat and urine smell like maple syrup. Keep taking that amount until you have enough milk, then stop gradually (the same as starting). Fenugreek is not recommended for mothers with asthma or diabetes. And if either you or baby has an allergic reaction (very rare), stop taking it.

If you prefer a prescription galactagogue, there are 2 to choose from. Most women use metoclopramide (Reglan) because it is more readily available in the US, although domperidone (Motilium) has fewer side effects. Metoclopramide can cause stomach upsets and depression, although neither one is common (if you have a history of depression, you probably don’t want to use it, though). Neither drug has been shown to have any side effects in the baby.

Arts and crafts are always fun. I used to work at a daycare with children of all ages, and no matter how old they were, they loved doing crafts. The girls could make bubble paper: all you need is dish soap, food coloring, straws, tin cake pans, and plain paper. Fill the pans about 1″ deep with water, add a few drops of soap and whatever colors you wish to use, then mix it up. Give each of the girls a straw and let them blow bubbles in the pan of colored water. Next, all they have to do is lay the paper on the bubbles. Once they have created the patterns and color combinations they like, just set them aside to dry. (Be sure to write their name on it so each girl gets the one she made.)

They could also make jewelry out of pasta. They can just paint the pasta (any pasta with a hole in it; like macaroni) then thread yarn through them when they dry.

You could have them make carmel popcorn balls or marshmellow squares to enjoy while they watch a movie, like Chicken Little.

They could also play games like simon says or mother may I. And of course, if they like stories, they could sit in a circle and one girl would start a story then “pass” it on to the next girl, and so on until all of the girls have contributed to creating an enitire story. (The daycare kids loved that one!)

Be creative and hang in there! You’ll do just fine!

If you’re only nursing every 3 hours, that is probably the problem. The average baby needs to nurse at least 10-12 times in 24 hours–and that’s *before* you want to increase your milk supply. If you’re not nursing that often, it is very likely that you will never have enough milk.

So the first thing to do is to nurse more often. If it’s been 2 hours since the *beginning* of the previous feeding, pick up the baby and nurse, even if you have to wake her/him. Try offering a *little* less formula (about 1/2 to 1 ounce less per feeding) and nursing more often like this for the next 3-4 days. If baby is still having the same number of wet and dirty diapers as previously, offer a little less again (and continue to nurse every 2 hours). Keep going this way, and you will probably be able to eliminate the formula entirely at some point (but there is no way to know just when that will happen).

At the same time, call a local La Leche League Leader. She will be able to give you ongoing help and support. All this help is *free* (although offer to make a donation to the organization if you can). See sources section below to find a Leader near you. Keep in mind that LLL Leaders are all volunteers working from their own homes while raising their own kids, so if you don’t get through, try another Leader or call back later.

You do *not* need to “drink a lot of water”. It won’t help, and one study showed that forcing liquids actually *decreased* milk production. Drink if you are thirsty.

Do *not* use “mother’s milk tea” or any other herbal blend that is intended to increase your milk supply. If you need help from a medication, you can use fenugreek or a prescription medication (see below). Herbal blends are all based on fenugreek anyway, but the extra herbs can cause various problems (side effects and/or allergies). In addition, most of them contain fennel–an herb that can increase the milk supply for some mothers, but actually decreases it for others. It is risky and could cause more problems.

Do not pump if you can nurse. No pump is as effective as a nursing baby. Before you pick up the pump, nurse; the only reason to pump is if baby refuses to nurse, in which case it’s better than nothing. But if you do pump, use the most effective pump you can. The best is a hospital-grade rental pump (preferably one that pumps both breasts simultaneously), then a battery-powered pump (even if used on wall current); manual pumps are the least effective type of all. Never use a pump made by Gerber, First Years, or Evenflo, or any pump that has a rubber bulb to operate it. They could do damage to the breast that may make end your breastfeeding career–at least for this baby.

If you want to try a “galactagogue” (something that increases milk production), the only herb with any scientific evidence of its effectiveness is fenugreek. Take 1 capsule 3 times a day for 3-4 days, then increase to 2 capsules 3 times a day for a few more days. Keep increasing this way until you are taking an effective dose *for you* (typically 2-4 capsules per dose); you will know that you are taking enough when your sweat and urine smell like maple syrup. Keep taking that amount until you have enough milk, then stop gradually (the same as starting). Fenugreek is not recommended for mothers with asthma or diabetes. And if either you or baby has an allergic reaction (very rare), stop taking it.

If you prefer a prescription galactagogue, there are 2 to choose from. Most women use metoclopramide (Reglan) because it is more readily available in the US, although domperidone (Motilium) has fewer side effects. Metoclopramide can cause stomach upsets and depression, although neither one is common (if you have a history of depression, you probably don’t want to use it, though). Neither drug has been shown to have any side effects in the baby.If you’re only nursing every 3 hours, that is probably the problem. The average baby needs to nurse at least 10-12 times in 24 hours–and that’s *before* you want to increase your milk supply. If you’re not nursing that often, it is very likely that you will never have enough milk.

So the first thing to do is to nurse more often. If it’s been 2 hours since the *beginning* of the previous feeding, pick up the baby and nurse, even if you have to wake her/him. Try offering a *little* less formula (about 1/2 to 1 ounce less per feeding) and nursing more often like this for the next 3-4 days. If baby is still having the same number of wet and dirty diapers as previously, offer a little less again (and continue to nurse every 2 hours). Keep going this way, and you will probably be able to eliminate the formula entirely at some point (but there is no way to know just when that will happen).

At the same time, call a local La Leche League Leader. She will be able to give you ongoing help and support. All this help is *free* (although offer to make a donation to the organization if you can). See sources section below to find a Leader near you. Keep in mind that LLL Leaders are all volunteers working from their own homes while raising their own kids, so if you don’t get through, try another Leader or call back later.

You do *not* need to “drink a lot of water”. It won’t help, and one study showed that forcing liquids actually *decreased* milk production. Drink if you are thirsty.

Do *not* use “mother’s milk tea” or any other herbal blend that is intended to increase your milk supply. If you need help from a medication, you can use fenugreek or a prescription medication (see below). Herbal blends are all based on fenugreek anyway, but the extra herbs can cause various problems (side effects and/or allergies). In addition, most of them contain fennel–an herb that can increase the milk supply for some mothers, but actually decreases it for others. It is risky and could cause more problems.

Do not pump if you can nurse. No pump is as effective as a nursing baby. Before you pick up the pump, nurse; the only reason to pump is if baby refuses to nurse, in which case it’s better than nothing. But if you do pump, use the most effective pump you can. The best is a hospital-grade rental pump (preferably one that pumps both breasts simultaneously), then a battery-powered pump (even if used on wall current); manual pumps are the least effective type of all. Never use a pump made by Gerber, First Years, or Evenflo, or any pump that has a rubber bulb to operate it. They could do damage to the breast that may make end your breastfeeding career–at least for this baby.

If you want to try a “galactagogue” (something that increases milk production), the only herb with any scientific evidence of its effectiveness is fenugreek. Take 1 capsule 3 times a day for 3-4 days, then increase to 2 capsules 3 times a day for a few more days. Keep increasing this way until you are taking an effective dose *for you* (typically 2-4 capsules per dose); you will know that you are taking enough when your sweat and urine smell like maple syrup. Keep taking that amount until you have enough milk, then stop gradually (the same as starting). Fenugreek is not recommended for mothers with asthma or diabetes. And if either you or baby has an allergic reaction (very rare), stop taking it.

If you prefer a prescription galactagogue, there are 2 to choose from. Most women use metoclopramide (Reglan) because it is more readily available in the US, although domperidone (Motilium) has fewer side effects. Metoclopramide can cause stomach upsets and depression, although neither one is common (if you have a history of depression, you probably don’t want to use it, though). Neither drug has been shown to have any side effects in the baby.

There were a lot of children in my family, so we had to finance everything ourselves. I was working full time at age 15 just to buy clothing and shampoo. It was tough, but I don’t regret it, it gave me character. **

I think that things are definately different for children now… 100 years ago, 11 year old boys were running a farm — or at least doing a good share of the work. Now, I am happy if I can get my 11 year old son to pick up his socks and lower the toilet seat. Our expectaions for children have changed, lowered. As a result, they are living up to what we expect. **

I think one of the most important things we need to teach children is personal responsibilty. Children need to grow into adults that accept responsibilty for their actions. If they are always saying, “I am this way because of my circumstance” or “I am not this way because I wasn’t ever given a fair shot” they will never succeed. They need to learn that they are in charge of their own destiny. THey decide how their life will turn out. Events and circumstances may steer them one way or the other, but ultimately, they decide what and who they are going to become. If they can grasp this, then they can go on to provide for their families, emotionally and financially. They need to learn that success comes from how we treat others, not how much money we make. **

 Arts and crafts are always fun. I used to work at a daycare with children of all ages, and no matter how old they were, they loved doing crafts. The girls could make bubble paper: all you need is dish soap, food coloring, straws, tin cake pans, and plain paper. Fill the pans about 1″ deep with water, add a few drops of soap and whatever colors you wish to use, then mix it up. Give each of the girls a straw and let them blow bubbles in the pan of colored water. Next, all they have to do is lay the paper on the bubbles. Once they have created the patterns and color combinations they like, just set them aside to dry. (Be sure to write their name on it so each girl gets the one she made.)

They could also make jewelry out of pasta. They can just paint the pasta (any pasta with a hole in it; like macaroni) then thread yarn through them when they dry.

You could have them make carmel popcorn balls or marshmellow squares to enjoy while they watch a movie, like Chicken Little.

They could also play games like simon says or mother may I. And of course, if they like stories, they could sit in a circle and one girl would start a story then “pass” it on to the next girl, and so on until all of the girls have contributed to creating an enitire story. (The daycare kids loved that one!)

Be creative and hang in there! You’ll do just fine!